It was never about my son

It was never about my son...

Conscious parenting? We could write a hundred definitions on what that actually means and still never quite agree on a single sentence.

But isn’t that the point?

If there were a universal book on “How to effectively parent like a professional while staying joyful and crushing your goals like Jordan- no trauma guaranteed” I would have bought that shit on every media platform available....

Let’s be real, that person would have sold more copies than the Bible and probably would be Earth’s president by now.

There really is no one size fits all formula for raising humans. And luckily, there are thousands of experts every year that offer their approach and time tested modality for how to work with every tiny personality under the sun.

And I might be either a genius or insane for offering this assertion, but I offer it anyway.

Parenting, is not about your kids...

But Jamie, parenting is so about our kids, it’s essentially the thing that makes a parent, a parent.

Duh, of course. Stay with me here...

If you were you really look at parenting from a bio-psycho-social-spiritual perspective... parenting...IS ABOUT YOU. 

You... are the first beliefs they get.
You... are one who projects onto them how the world should be and how they should behave
You... are who they get their automatic behaviors from.
You... are who they turn to when the world doesn’t make sense
You... are the one who tells them it’s ok to be who they are or not.

My son’s behavior always... comes back to ME...

And in no way is this intended to give you even more guilt than you already do have in this moment, or the 193288 ways you think you have already fucked up your kid... so chill. This is all good news. I promise.

See here is the thing. If it starts with us, then so much of what we give to ourselves is what we automatically give to them.

So...

Give yourself grace for your mistakes? You give it to them.
Give yourself larger possibilities for your life? You open up theirs.
Give yourself healthy relationships? You will teach them how.
Give yourself health and wellness? You will be their example of living well.
Give yourself investment in your growth and education? You will give them the value to pursue it when they become adults.

It starts with us... we are the teachers, the example, the lighthouse, the invitation, and have the greatest opportunity to demonstrate what compassion can look like starting with YOU.

So put the pitchfork down and pick up a mirror. It’s not your fault. FORGIVE YOURSELF. You’re doing the best you can with what you have, up until now!

So what is conscious Parenting? Standing responsible for what your kids are experiencing from a mindful, compassionate, and loving place.

Give yourself permission to come first so they get THE BEST VERSION OF YOU.

Learn how to throw a proper tantrum. Go give your kid a high five, and say “let’s go fam, we got this”

If you are struggling with how to get through these times right now as a parent, you are not alone. Feel free to reach out to me.

I throw down a mean tantrum I swear I make it look good...

We got this.